Allow me a moment

Josh and I have had a number of conversations throughout our dating and marriage about my goals and dreams. To him I seem to be in short supply (probably the practical side of me) and he is continually wanting to make sure that I'm fulfilled. He is well aware that from the time I was little I wanted to be a mom. My family can testify to this with the way my sister and I used to play with our dolls around the house, turning the stairs into the car, laundry baskets into beds and changing tables. I used to pretend iron my dolls clothes. This is something that is a little difficult to get across to my husband though he tries to understand. Recently, when we are plopped on the couch after a long day and too tired to move or right after we've calmed Claire out of a fussy bout he looks at me and asks, are you glad you're a mom. You're not disappointed are you? My answer is not on your life.

Although my life has taken many turns different than ones I ever foresaw, I am so excited to be where I am at. This stage in life is different than how I envisioned it would be and identical to how I thought it would be all at the same time. I am so grateful and thankful to have our daughter in my life. Parenting is quite a challenge but its one I feel like I was made for. I'm thankful that the Lord has guided my experiences to show me that I have more than just one purpose. I pray that my experiences thus far will help me be a better parent. My life (hopefully) will be used in many ways but I am so thankful I have had the priviledge to be a mom. I have difficulty putting to words what its like to watch Claire discover her world. To watch her imitate us doing silly things. To see her frustration that she can't be on the go right now. To watch her ever changing expressions. I sit next to her in awe as her little personality shines through more and more day by day and I pray that I will guide her well.